Part 21: Viewing Earth

: Your Earthling territories are cold to Ghians all day, all year.

: Okay, but, like... more than usual?



: It's likely that you're adjusting to the world outside your quarters. It's nearly a week since you got out, and you weren't in the greatest psychological state; your structure is trying to relearn what it's like.

: Whatever, sure, let's go with all of that.

: Isol, I'm going to be honest with you: I... I kind of want to go back.

: I'm tired. Before you called, I just wanted to go to bed. Coming here took everything else that I had out of me.

: My feet are heavy; I feel like I'm about to fall asleep where I'm standing; and... well, heh, you were right in that salads don't have a lot of staying power. I'm already getting hungry again.



: The want was to get you to exercise and to exit your residence. We did those things. It wasn't a long walk, yet, well... you're in an unhealthy way, and all the little strides are successes.

: ... No. I'm here now. I might as well see it all through. And I said I'd spend time with you, Isol; I'm not about to cut that short.

: That, and, as much as I want to go back, I know I shouldn't. My room is just going to put me back into that funk.

: This is regarding you, Ezra. Your health has greater criticality than us hanging out together.

: Still... it's a nice thing to say.

: You know, it's funny.

: Out of everyone I know and everyone I've met, you're the only person that's not only seen the Earth, and not just from pictures or videos or even through a telescope like I'm about to do – but you've actually been there.

: That's a funny thing for an Earthling to say to a Ghian, I think.

To be fair to Ezra, even today we have people born in other countries and who have never been to their parents' homeland. It's a culture thing. Does Ezra see herself more as a Galileian rather than an Earthling, for instance?

: The reason I reside here in Galilei today is that I was on holiday on Earth when the Riklid attacked.



: ... Yeah, I can imagine.



: I learned a lot in Galilei in the last decade, and one thing I try to always recall is that it's greater to try and concentrate on what's to occur than it is to linger on what's occurred.

: Now that the Riklid are gone, existence is 'silky sailing' going onward.



: ...

: You're stronger than I think you give yourself credit for, Isol.

: Why do you say that?

: I mean, it takes a certain kind of character that went from vacationing on Earth, to being forced to live in a dome a billion kilometers away, unable to go home while a deadly war is going on... and say that the past is behind her and she just wants to look forward.

: When I learned that my mom died, I clammed up in my room for a week. I didn't even realize I was wasting away until you fed me.

: ...



: Ghians aren't stone. It wasn't strength that I had, it was–

: ... We were just as... enthused as Earthlings are. We all take to dour news in our own ways.



: That's true... I guess I'm just hoping that... it'll get easier for me like it did for you.



I would have loved to learn more about Isol's parents and family unit, if she were to open up about it. There's quite a bit of scarring there for her, but maybe she's already mostly healed from it after so long.

: Let's change the discussion. We got out to try and dodge the setting in your house, and all.

: There's one thing I had in mind, actually.

: And what's that?

: They say that when you look at the Earth from a distance, the sight of it... does something to your head. I don't remember the exact name of whatever this effect is.

: Did that happen to you? Did you even get a good look at it when you were approaching?

: Yes, actually, to that second one.



: Would you describe what you saw as... something that 'changed' you? Made you think differently?

: ...

: I think it's wrong to ask a Ghian that. Earth is gorgeous – yet he is not a Ghian's nurturer.

: Which is to say, no, I didn't undergo anything like that. I looked at his horizon; took a sellie; and then sat down and waited to land.

: Sorry, a what?



: Oh, a selfie.

: Yes, that.

: ...

: I had yet to see Ghi in that angle, though. Out in the aether, in the cold; disconnected with his ground and air. Seeing the rike in a way I had yet to see it.

: This 'change' that occurs in the way Earthlings think could yet occur were I to see Ghi and not Earth. Ghi is where I was nurtured, and all.

: Now that a decade has gone, this 'change' could hit like a sack whole with stones, too.

: Hah, yeah. I imagine seeing your home again after everything that's happened would be a huge relief.

: ...

*A "ding" sound plays.*

: That denotes that it's our turn, I think.

: I think so. I don't see anyone else in line ahead of us anymore.

: Would you like to do the honours?

: ... No, I think I'd prefer to go second, actually. I just... I need a bit more time to digest myself being here, is all.

: Like I said, we can go–

: No, we're here. I'm not going to leave without looking through that lens. I just need a minute.

: Let's not keep the line behind us waiting for too much longer, okay?

: Well, it's just, I had already seen the Earth.

: You're right, though; we shouldn't take too long.



: ...

: Ugh, these lenses weren't designed with Ghian eyelines in thought. Any chance I could get a dongle or connector...?

: No? Hell. Alright, I'll just–

: ...

: ...

: Well, whatever she's doing must be working for her. She's staring pretty intently into those lenses.

: I wonder if she can really see the Earth...? I guess I'm about to find out.



: ... So? What did you think? Did you see the Earth?

: Yeah.

: ... And?

: Well, this is the second occasion I had seen the Earth, so, the occurrence isn't, you know, as intense as it was. And it wasn't that intense with the initial sight, either.





: Does she – or he – at least look good?





: Concoct, in your third eye, a genial countenance that's entrenched with contusions. That's what I saw in Earth right now.

: A genial count– what? What are they teaching you Ghians in your English classes?



: There are others waiting their turn, you know. You should look already.

: Well, now you have me second-guessing if I should or not.

: That's your call.

: ...

: *sigh* I said I would.

: Excuse me.



: Right. They'll get angry were you to touch anything to turn it.

: Okay, let's take a look, then...

Wounded Earth



: I had seen the Earth a decade ago, and, yes, I can authenticate that that is your rike. Your nurturer.

: That is Earth.

: ...

: Is this... really Earth?

: I've never – I've only ever seen pictures and stuff. I've never seen her before, not with my own eyes. And this...

: This doesn't... look right. The shapes of the land are all off. There aren't many clouds in the sky. I don't think I see any snow on the caps...

: This really is Earth...? But she looks so...

: 'A genial countenance... entrenched in contusions...'

: ... A smiling face... covered in bruises.

: Mom fought for this. She died for this. She didn't even hesitate. The Riklid came; they attacked; they turned the Earth into... this. And Mom fought them every step of the way, as soon as she could.

: Isol.

: Yes, Ezra?

(Isol's conversation with Ezra is voiced.)

: You're the only person I know that's been on the ground on Earth.

: You told me this before, that Galilei feels like Earth well enough – but that there's a thing on Earth that Galilei doesn't have. Down there, the air isn't recycled; day and night aren't caused by someone turning a dial; the weather isn't something we control.

: ...

: I don't know what my question was going to be. I think... I just need to talk. To try and filter out some of these thoughts I'm having.

: Hah, I think I understand. As a Ghian existing in an Earthling territory, it's easier to listen than to talk, so, go ahead and run your throat all you like.

I've mentioned that Isol is the best girl, but here I have to reiterate that fact. She's ready to listen to Ezra shoot her mouth off as much as it takes to get her emotions in check, though she puts it in a strange way that she still sees herself as apart from the others.

: Wait, I got one.

: Here on Galilei... I could get on a tram and ride it to the aerodrome's edge. There are parts of the dome where they'll let us get right up and touch the glass. I could pick a direction and walk, and eventually, I'll hit the dome's border.

: I don't know what it's like to live on a planet at all. All I've ever known is Galilei. I've never even left Section Four. But you, Isol; you've been to two.

: When you were on Ghi or Earth, did you ever get that feeling? That if you were to pick a direction and walk, that you'd be forced to stop at some point?

: There is one thing that Earth and Ghi own that Galilei doesn't. Well... things in the hundreds, yet one thing related to your question, anyway.

: Ezra, do you know what's larger than a hill? A gigantic hill, usually with a jagged crown that's loaded with snow?

: Uh... a mountain?

: Yes, that. Galilei has no giant hills. And it doesn't own great gorges, either; it's largely regular and horizontal.

: I told you that the stint I used on Earth was in a country called S'ain, in a continent called Euro'e. S'ain is riddled with these giant hills. Were you not standing on one, one was always within eyesight.

: Ghi has these giant hills, too; in the language I talk, their word is 'ahllohk.'

: Standing at an ahllohk's rest, you'd get the notion that scaling one on your own was ridiculous. Not without gear or training. Like Galilei's glass, they were all-natural walls that thwarted your wants to journey onward.

: ...

: And yet, you always knew that you could. There was always new world to see were you to conquer a giant hill as you got to it. The world was only tiny were you to halt.

: I... wish that answers your question.

: I think it might.



: I... I think I felt it.

: You–



: Yeah. That.

: ... Mom sent me a message after she – after the fact. She recorded this big, long message for me and my dad about why she enlisted, and what she thinks I should do with my life.

: It's been, what, four days since then?

: And ever since that day, I couldn't stop asking myself why she went through with it. Why was it her that needed to enlist? Why was it her on that suicide mission? Why did she do what she did?

: She said that she did it for me and dad, and that Earth, Mars, Titan – they all came second. She told me that I'd understand if I ever had kids.

: But...

: You get it now?

: I think I do.

: I saw Earth, and how her lands don't match up with the photos I've seen, and how beat up she looked, and I asked you those questions about what it was like to live on a planet with no borders, and it all just... it clicked. I get why she did it. I get why she'd do it again, if she could.

: Do you think you could enunciate what it is you 'get'?

: No, I don't think I could. That'd be like asking why a parent loves their kid.

: Or, in this case... why a kid would love their parent.

What Ezra is describing is a phenomenon known as the overview effect, or at least a form of it. I wish to have the chance to feel such an emotion that's not just from a picture of our world!

: Did you know that something like this would happen if I looked through that telescope?

: No, not at all. Did you think that I did?

: No, it's just–

: I've been totally listless ever since Tuesday. I was starving myself, and I hadn't left my room in days. And now, after looking through that lens and seeing what I saw...

: It was a real kick in the ass, is all. Something that really got me going again.

: Let's not get hasty. You still need to heal.

: Yeah, I know, but, like... I feel... well, I feel better. Energized, you know? I don't feel so cold anymore.

: I know I still need one step at a time, but you had to fight me to get me out of that room. I'm willing to take that first step, now.

: It's funny what a salad with some weird meat and a bit of exercise can do.



: I know I can create a good salad, though let's not suggest that it's so good that it'd cause your psyche to ascend like that.

: That's a thing that only seeing your nurturer could attain.

: Thank you for tonight, Isol.

: If you hadn't come to get me, I'd probably still be in my room. I still wouldn't know how hungry I was. And I wouldn't have gotten the perspective I have now.

: All I did was create a dish to eat and then drag you out to get exercise. Seeing your world was the real catalyst, here.

: I won't suggest that what I did was nothing, though. We all need a kickstart on occasion.

: And I'm glad it was you that gave it to me.

: ...

: The next occasion you need a kick in the rear to get you in gear, just say the word, and I'll wear the weightiest shoe I can get.

: Heh... it's good to know that I can trust you not to half-ass anything.

: You got that right!

Again, Isol is the best. You keep on going full-ass, lizard lady.

*The music and ambience fade out.*



It wasn't that late out, especially for a Friday night, but I wanted to go straight to bed anyway. I had expected Isol to try and get me to stay awake a bit longer in case I relapsed or something, but once I got home, she excused herself.

Before I went to bed, I made myself something to eat for the first time in nearly a week. It was only some toast – but I had an appetite for the first time since I had eaten. That salad made me realize just how hungry I was.

It'll take a while for me to really process the change. The war might have been won, but it'll take weeks for the pain to stop, and I don't know how long for me to say that I'm finally over it – as a daughter that had lost her mother.

But, for the first time in what feels like forever... it's like there's no rush. There's no tension. Things were bad, but I'm through the worst of it. I had overcome the hardest part, and now, all that's left is to pick up the pieces and live the life my mom had fought so hard to earn.

For the first time in days, I was looking forward to waking up tomorrow.